Upendo Ministries

“We have to surrender our free-will and submit to God’s will.”

That sentence has been living rent-free in my mind ever since I heard it this week. It’s one of those truths that sounds simple, but the more I think about it, the more it sinks in and challenges me.

God gave us free-will. The ability to choose. And that, in itself, is love. Love that doesn’t force, doesn’t demand, doesn’t control. Love that simply opens its arms and says, “Come if you want to.” That’s the kind of love our Father gives us. But when we take that gift and lay it down before Him — when we choose to surrender our will and trust His — something incredible happens. A peace that words can barely describe begins to seep into the cracks of our hearts.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about peace and trust. Maybe it’s because of where I’m at. Making major life decisions, walking through uncertainty, and facing the daily weight of chronic illness once again. Some mornings, it feels like I’m standing at the edge of the unknown, clutching questions I can’t answer. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of worry and overthinking. To want to fix things, to plan every detail, to hold tight to a sense of control that was never really mine to begin with.

But the moment I stop trying to hold it all together — the moment I whisper, “God, I can’t, but You can” — that’s when His peace floods in. It doesn’t come in loudly. It comes quietly, silencing the noise and chaos around. Sometimes it’s just a gentle stillness that settles deep in my soul. But it’s real. It’s steady. It’s the kind of peace that reminds me I’m not the one holding my life. He is.

And when I think about it… how could what I want ever be better than what my Creator wants for me? The One who knit me together, who sees every tomorrow before I wake up to it, who loves me far more deeply than I could ever love myself… how could I not trust Him?

Surrender hasn’t been easy, but lately, it’s been sweet. Truly. Because as I’ve let go of certain things, I’ve found joy that I didn’t know was missing. I feel lighter. I smile easier. Even when things aren’t perfect, there’s this deep assurance that God’s got it. And that has brought me more happiness than anything I could’ve planned for myself.

Yes, sometimes negativity still tries to creep in, whispering lies that I’m not enough or that God has forgotten me. But He hasn’t. He never will. Every single time the shadows start to rise, His light breaks through again.

I guess this post isn’t a perfectly crafted thought. It’s more of a joyful testimony. A thank-you note to God, written with a full heart. Because He’s been showing me that surrender isn’t giving up. It’s getting free. It’s worship. It’s happiness and genuine joy.

And I can say this with every bit of honesty in my heart… peace doesn’t come from everything being okay. Peace comes from knowing you don’t have to be the one making it okay.

So if you think of me, please pray that I’ll keep surrendering my will to His. Not just in the hard moments, but in the happy ones too. That I’ll keep trusting His heart, and keep resting in His plan.

Because I’ve tasted it now. That peace that passes understanding And I never want to go back.

Surrender leads to peace.
And peace — that radiant, soul-deep, joy-filled peace — only comes from Him.

Much love and many prayers,
Vanessa

Note to add: To those who are suffering with chronic illness and the future — I know it can be scary and even terrifying at times — not knowing what the future holds. Trust God one step at a time and as hard as it might be, surrender to Him. He has a plan — and we have a purpose. Much love… may God be with you in your dark night.